Ground Zero

I’m starting over from ground zero.

I’m reading Breaking Free From Emotional Eating by Geneen Roth and it is rocking my world. Totally rocking my world.

And the first thing I’m going to do is start eating when I’m hungry. And ONLY when I’m hungry.

I started this morning.  I had a big dinner last night (let’s not talk about it), and so, when I was still sitting around, drinking coffee, and asking myself if I was hungry at 8:30 in the morning (I usually eat around 7am), I had to make the decision to go do something else until I was hungry.

And it made me feel a little panicky.

I don’t know why exactly, but I was worried. That I would mess up my schedule or my metabolism or something. Isn’t breakfast the most important meal of the day? Shouldn’t I just have some fruit or something light, or…?

But I didn’t. I took my coffee upstairs and went to work.  And I didn’t end up feeling hungry until 10:30.

At 10:30, I thought, “I should really just wait until 11 and eat lunch.” But I was hungry, so I honored that. I asked myself what I wanted and I heated up 1/2 a leftover pork chop (chopped up), stirred in two eggs, scrambled them, and ate them in two small tortillas with cheese and salsa, and 1/4 cup or so of raspberries on the side.

And it was delightful.

Now, it’s almost 2pm and I’m not hungry yet. I may get hungry soon. I may not.

But I’m going to try to honor it, no matter how scary it feels.

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